Tomorrow I get to spend some time with Surgical Spice again. Since my mastectomy and LD Flap reconstruction in March 2016 I have been somewhat deficient in the nipple department to the tune of one. My left one went the way of unwanted surgical debris and then my right one took a bit of a hammering a year later during my reduction. However, although I now have a pair of broadly symmetrical knockers, it is still something of a surprise to only be greeted by the one nipple. My left foob (fake boob) looks a little naked without one.
It is hardly crucial life saving surgery but I have to say I would be sorry to never have one so I am delighted that the NHS is balancing me up. Surgical Spice is going to be creating something out of what I already have, meaning my expectations are not that high. The phrase ‘silk purse, sow’s ear’ keeps ricocheting around my head but we shall see.
Meanwhile, having a cold and clearly too much time on my hands, I have rewritten the words to All I want for Christmas with apologies to Mariah Carey. Sing along now!
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There’s just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want a matching pair
So that when I dare to bare
My wishes will come true
All I want for Christmas is two.
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
I have only one desire
That when looking in the mirror
I’ll see something to admire
I just want to be consistent
In the Bosom Category
Santa Claus please make me happy
Give me Christmas symmetry.
I don’t even want gin tipples
More than my new Christmas nipple
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is two.
This made me laugh out loud Helen!! All the best!
Lyndsay x
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You’re never going to sing that song again without chortling, are you?!
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Love the song! We’ll make it a prayer for you xx
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Love it! Will certainly be singing that from now on x
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Brilliant Helen ! Im sure you will get your Christmas wish!!! 😍🌲❄⛄Xx
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Love it!
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May all your Christmas wishes come true xx
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I knew you were gifted with a way with words but this excels above all!!! You do make me laugh! Praying Surgical Spice was creative beyond measure and excelled in granting your Christmas wish. Love you x
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Can’t see Michael Buble doing a cover, though….
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Dear Helen, you are always full of positivity & wit.
Your choice of song is very apt for me right now as Russ & I were due to travel up to Manchester on Sunday 10th to see Mariah in her Christmas show, unfortunately I tore the meniscus cartilage in my left knee a few days before so the journey was deemed too long & painful to risk further damage as I hop along on crutches awaiting urgent knee surgery!
So Mariah needs to include ‘All I want for Christmas is a working knee for me & a nipple for you LOL
Lots of love to you, Lorni xxx
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Thanks Lorni, very sorry to hear about your knee though! Hope you recover quickly x
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