Here we go again …

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I have been bad.  And less than diligent in the exercise department.  And now I am suffering.  It will be sometime before I consider bending over backwards.  Or forwards.  Or any which way.  Yesterday my bulging discs decided to bulge a little more and send my muscles in to spasm again.  I am less than pleased with this development.  Actually, I am extremely pissed off with it.

You see, I had plans.  Yesterday evening was to be the first time I had made it to my book group since about June.  I had woken with a migraine but with drugs and naps had managed to see that off.  I did not feel brilliant but I was very determined.  Then while bending to remove dinner from the grill, the now all too familiar pain exploded once more.  I am so tired of having plans spoiled.  Of having to rearrange my life.  Of letting others down.  Of being the flaky unreliable one.  I just want to return to normal.  Not a new normal.  My old normal will do fine.  I had felt like that was beginning to happen.  I made my first batches of jam since March on Wednesday.  I have been getting fitter and healthier and generally feeling more like my old self.

Instead of continuing this trajectory, the rug has been pulled well and truly from under me and I am back to doing hourly exercises.  Pacing around because sitting is too painful.  Lying on the floor when that becomes too much.  And being far too tearful for the skin on my face to cope with.  It all feels just a bit too much.

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5 thoughts on “Here we go again …

  1. Sums it up perfectly – I feel exactly the same (though fortunately without the excruciating back pain). Just as normal seems tantilisingly within my grasp something happens and it seems to get whisked away again. But I am finding that the stretches of ‘almost normal’ are getting longer in between the backward steps, so I hope the same’s happening to you. x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Helen, my heart goes out to you, recent experience has taught me tgat back pain is awful!

    Please be kind to yourself – I’m sure that the wheel will turn in your favour soon, though it seems to me that fate is being monstrously unfair at the moment 😦

    Sue, Indigo Dream

    Like

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