Today I had a date with Surgical Spice. Remember her? I last saw her back in May. Before chemo. It is hard to remember such a time but it did exist.
This appointment was another opportunity for her to admire her handiwork. Which she did. And then pointed out all the flaws. A dip here. A bulge there. Rude, I thought. I tried to cheer her up with my party trick. Have I told you about this? I can make my newbie twitch. It is really quite impressive. I could tell Surgical Spice was taken with my performance as she checked my notes to make sure she had disconnected the various bits of muscles from the things they needed to be disconnected from during my last op. She had. I probably will not put on public displays of this talent. It is probably best left unseen. I was certainly not asked for an encore. Sigh. But should the Captain and I ever be down on our luck, perhaps a career in a freak show could save our bacon?
So the upshot was I need more surgery. This I knew. It cannot happen before March. Pesky chemo. I would like it to happen before April as our plans for this year have been delayed until then. If it does not happen in March it will be some time during next Autumn/Winter.
I will be having my remaining breast reduced to match my newbie. I get to keep my nipple unless fat necrosis claims it. My newbie will have its dips filled out with fat grafting from fat hoovered out of my stomach. And my bulges, or dog ear, will be removed and tidied up. The whole op is expected to take about four hours. I should be in hospital for no more than two nights and the experience should not be as arduous as my last. But it will involve constricting knickers (which I had better not get in a twist), surgical bras and weeks of recovery. At the end of it I should have a matching pair of newbies. Which would be rather nice. After that, I will just be in need of a new nipple to balance the old one, something that can hopefully be done under local anaesthetic.
Consent forms signed, hands shaken, Christmas wishes delivered, all that remained was to get yet more photos taken. My portfolio as a topless model must be getting quite thick. Still have not nailed the Lean In And Pout look which must, of course, mean I will have to do it all again.
And now I just wait for the surgery appointment to arrive.