My date with the poison always seems to steal upon me in a rush. You could be forgiven for thinking I did not want it to happen. Actually, for the days leading up to it I am assaulted by all manner of conflicting emotions: I do not want this treatment; I do want this treatment; I do not want to be ill again; I do want to cross off one more; I can not wait for it to be over; I am scared of it not working; I want to stop being treated; I want the reassurance of being treated. I could go on but you get the idea.
On the upside, I am getting to know the staff at my unit well enough to call many of them by name. They appear not to have come across the late Kate Granger’s Hello, My Name Is campaign. As the staff do not introduce themselves and their name badges are invariably covered by aprons, it has taken some detective work to sort them out. However, it IS nice being able to joke around with them by name. And they are remembering me too. The loon in the lippy is hard to forget, it seems! I really want to tell them about the not introducing themselves thing and the impact such a small thing has, but I do not want it to come across as a complaint that undermines all the many good things they have done. I know well how the NHS can handle such ‘complaints’ and am keen to avoid something that is not my intention.
Back to today. I feel rubbish. All the usual but just to shake me out of any kind of complacency I have excruciatingly achy knees. I have no idea what that is all about but I currently have a hot water bottle underneath them and my vein arm heat pad on top of them. Between these measures and the ibuprofen I have taken, I can just about cope. I continue to drink masses in case flushing the toxins out will help. Who knows?
The general administration was trouble free which is seriously good news. It is no secret that I have excellent reasons for being terrified of my veins packing up. This time, along with all the other things I have been doing, I tried drinking miso soup last night and again this morning. I picked up the tip here and decided I had nothing to lose. Of course, that was before I tasted it. As I was downing it this morning, I was hoping it would make not the slightest bit of difference because it is truly disgusting. Especially for breakfast. However, having never been blessed in the vein department, I was honestly gobsmacked at the ease with which cannulation happened on this occasion. I suspected the miso was having an effect as I had not peed as much following the consumption of the medium sized lake. By the time I got to vein inspection time they were standing to attention on the back of my hand which was quite the novelty for me. I have never been able to see them before so this was astounding. Un-named poison nurse declared them beautiful. I was so proud.
Now I am off to nurse my shakes, my aches and general rubbishness in front of the tele. Until I can go to bed #wontbelong