Tan-tastic

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Our week away has been truly splendid.  You can see from the above picture that my new mastectomy swimming costume was a triumph.  The same cannot be said for the footwear which looks like it would be more at home in Irish dancing than on a beach.  In fact, wearing slightly different footwear I managed to get my feet a little crispy.  As in burnt.  I had duly slathered myself in the aforementioned Neal’s Yard sun cream SPF 30, only my sandals rubs patches off.  Which I then stupidly forgot to reapply.  Stupid stupid stupid.

I have been more focused than usual on tanning during this trip.  I am generally not bothered, given that I have had fifty years on this earth of just burning.  However, in that time I have learnt a thing or two and, sandal incidents and stupidity aside, I generally know how to avoid burning now.  My usual colour is a shade warmer than deathly.  But just a shade.  Apart from my cheeks which always boast a ruddy glow.  However, given my impending date with the Poison Department (aka Chemo Unit), I fancied at least beginning the process with a reasonable tan.  Especially since all sun needs to be shunned unless painted in factor 50.  So I have embraced the opportunity for a bit of sun worship.

I will be feeding back to Neal’s Yard re their sun cream – I don’t know if I have had a dodgy batch or not, but everything, and I mean everything, that has come close to it or me while anointed has been heavily stained yellow.  I know that sun cream often stains clothing but this has been something else: my towels, my bed sheets (even after showering), my clothes and my beautiful swimming costume all now shades of yellow.  This does worry me regarding my tube of factor 50 at home as I will have to either chose my clothes very carefully, not wear it or buy some more sigh.

Anyway, in the middle of all this sunbathing, I have managed to end up with what will become the most stupid tan line in the history of stupid tan lines.  On the beach, after swimming, I tend to wear a bandanna to keep my hair off my face.  At some point I must have pulled it down slightly.  Not much.  Of course, the sun chose that moment to bless me with a nut brown complexion.  In an instant.  So I have a line.  And under other circumstances it would never be noticeable.  But given that my hair is about to fall out I am going to look more than a little ridiculous.  The Captain has offered to dust off his range of wood stains to colour match my scalp in anticipation.  Rude.

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One thought on “Tan-tastic

  1. My swimsuit has an orange hue thanks either to dodgy suncream or dodgy chlorine in a Greek Pool a couple of years ago. I’m too much of a miser to buy a new one though! Wear your line with pride. Love you loads XXX

    Liked by 1 person

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